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Having seen many examples of the disaster it becomes when a member spouse pushes, coerces, ultimatums the non-member spouse into being baptized, I have very assiduously steered clear of those methods from the start. Mormonism is a lot more controlling and has a lot more downsides. The two of you can get married in the temple and live together forever for eternity. All I can do is have Faith in Him. The standard principles of day game apply. No doubt that some will be valiant up on the other side of the veil, but just as sure there will others who will reject salvation because of their high mindedness. This is a very delicate territory, so tread carefully.
So, now I'm battling interview season with the fourth year dates and beginning of residency with the labor day date. All this said, God is love and fully understands and appreciates your problem. I got to thinking about how I and others in my ward might react if a same sex couple attended church and how those views might WILL, fingers crossed change over the next decade. I was thinking about this last night after listening to Radio West. We all know that. I can honestly say this isn't worth it. But realistically, if she is not open minded enough to even listen to someone who has a contrasting view of the church - how will she not continually discount you and your lack of beliefs. Really, I'm interested in this too. I would show her this recent post for example: Her family will also be thinking about this and will talk to you about it when you spend time with them. If things get even more serious, try getting her to sign a pre-nup that neither she, nor her family will try to convert you.